Should you sell the house, or should one of you keep it?

Good to know: selling to us does not mean you have to do any of this yourself. A title company handles the closing paperwork.

How each state divides a home

In Minnesota, marital property is divided in a way that is just and equitable, without regard to marital misconduct. The text doesn't say half and half. Value is set at the first scheduled prehearing settlement conference, unless you agree on another date or a court finds one fairer.

Wisconsin differs: a court presumes an equal split, and one factor it can weigh is giving the family home, or time living there, to the parent with the children most of the time.

Three honest questions

1. Can one of you carry it alone? Not just this month. Payment, taxes, insurance, a furnace that fails, on one income. And can that person qualify to take over or refinance the loan? If not, keeping it may only put off selling and leave the other spouse's name on a loan for longer.
2. Why would you keep it? Kids' schools and stability are real reasons, and they're what Wisconsin's factor above is about. Being afraid to lose the fight isn't as good a reason. A mediator or therapist can help with that part. We can't.
3. What does the house need? If the roof or furnace is about done, whoever keeps it inherits that bill. A fair buyout should account for it.

A buyout worksheet

This adds up your own numbers in your browser. It sends nothing anywhere. Use real figures: a mortgage payoff from the lender, and a value from an appraiser. The share is whatever you've agreed or your attorneys expect. It isn't a prediction of what a court would do.

Don't use a cash offer as the value. A cash offer, ours or anyone's, isn't what a home is worth. It's usually below a listing price, so using one as a buyout figure can underpay the spouse who leaves. Get an appraisal for a buyout.

When a cash buyer is the wrong answer

A direct offer will often come in below what a good listing might bring, because a buyer like us has to leave room for repairs and resale. Get an agent's opinion too. It usually costs nothing, and both of you can hold it up against our number.

If you do talk to us

• We'd be the buyer you deal with. No listing, no commission, and no showings beyond a visit from us.
• You get a written number with the math explained, which you can both take to your attorneys.
• A title company handles the paperwork and the money. It lays out closing costs in writing before anyone signs.
• You pick the closing date, so it can line up with the settlement or wait for an order.
• We can't advise either of you about the divorce, and we don't take sides.